Loving Our Kids in Ways that Really Impact

Love is basic to all other needs. God created us with a need to feel loved … we love God because He first loved us. 1 John 4:16-19

It is God’s plan to put us in families where we can love one another.  The decision to have children is a decision to bare your heart for the rest of your life. To give love to your child creates a foundation that your child will build on to become a loving, giving adult.  So how do we best let our child know that they are loved?

Check out this great tool for learning how to best fill your child`s love tank.

• Video highlighting the importance of loving your child in the most meaningful way.
• Discover the mystery of your child’s love language:

1. 1. using this profile with your kids.
2. 2. and this 5 Love Languages Children’s book & APP:  A Perfect Pet for Peyton
3. 

• What are the 5 love languages…
• PHYSICAL TOUCH
• WORDS of AFFIRMATION
• QUALITY TIME
• GIFTS
• ACTS of SERVICE
• Oprah discovers her love language here.

When a child feels loved the rest of parenting becomes much easier. When she feels your love she will behave as if she is loved.  In raising young children everything depends on the love relationship between parent and child … not based on what she does but who she is.

Enjoy spending the time to discover what makes your little one really feel loved! You`ll never regret the investment,

Kathy.

Angry Parents, Angry Kids, Angry Families…

“Angry children do not emerge out of a vacuum. They become angry within a context, an environment that breeds anger. Pediatrician Tim Murphy (2001) calls it “homegrown anger.” He identifies four kinds of families where anger becomes a way of life.” Read more.

Angry Father, Angry Sons – Read more.

How to Handle your Preschooler’s Angry Friends – Read more.

Winning the War Against Anger – Read more.

Teen Anger – Read more.

Teaching Children About Anger – www.biblicalparenting.org

“Anger is a common problem in family life, especially among siblings. Although it’s very frustrating for parents, a wise mom or dad can use anger episodes to teach kids some valuable lessons about anger control and dealing with emotions.

First, empathize with your child about the offense. “I can see why you’re upset. That makes sense.”

Second, if the offender was wrong, acknowledge that fact. “Your brother was wrong to continue to tease you after you asked him to stop, but that doesn’t mean you can be unkind to him.”

This kind of statement is helpful because children often feel that their anger is justified when the other person is wrong. By agreeing that the other person is wrong, but still correcting for angry response, the parent shows that a wrong action doesn’t justify meanness in return. Children need to understand that even if the other person is wrong, their own response is very important.

Third, talk about alternative responses. Children need to learn that sometimes they should confront and other times they should let the offense go. Romans 12:18 is a great verse for children caught in relational problems: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

You can’t always change the other person, but you can control your response. God gave us anger and other emotions to help us sense things about life. Those who save up anger out of self-protection, however, are making a mistake. By teaching your children how to give and receive forgiveness, you will equip them with tremendous skills that they will use for the rest of their lives.

For more ideas about emotions, consider the book, Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. The chapter is entitled “Honesty: Giving the Gift of Integrity.”

If this tip was sent to you by a friend and you’d like to continue to receive tips yourself, you can sign up at www.biblicalparenting.org.”

Is There a Green-Eyed Monster in Your House?

Sibling Rivalry and Jealousy

When I read Luke 15 last week as part of Forward’s Discipleship Together New Testament reading plan, I was struck by the problem of sibling rivalry and jealousy displayed by the older brother.  Our kids are all 20 somethings now (except for the youngest who just thinks she is!) and have grown to become best friends. It hasn`t always been this way though, so I thought it might be helpful to source some relevant articles on the subject.

Sibling Rivalry

Stand Up for Your Sibling

Working it Out on Their Own

Parenting Tip from the National Center for Biblical Parenting:

When kids fight it’s best to work with them separately because each child needs a specific plan for dealing with the other. Furthermore, trying to train them at the same time often results in resistance or even allowing kids to gang up on you, hindering the process.

Here are some other ideas for addressing sibling conflict that you might find helpful.

Parenting Rules for Addressing Sibling Conflict:

1) Remain calm.
Don’t add your emotion to the existing drama (Most important Rule)

2) Separate kids.
or they feed on each other’s explanations.

3) Don’t dialogue with a child who is emotionally overwhelmed.
It usually escalates the problem.

4) Require a break to help a child settle down.
Calm the heart before trying to teach it.

5) Empathize with the child’s challenge.
(Yes, I understand, your sister can be annoying.)

6) Ask, “What did you do wrong?”
or “What did you do that contributed to the problem?”

7) Define the challenge more clearly.
“So, when your sister was being annoying, you didn’t know how best to handle it so you hit her. Is that right?”

8) Validate the child’s thinking and identify the mistake.
“I see you were upset and wanted to do something about it. But hitting her wasn’t the best choice.”

9) Explore other options with a coaching attitude.
“What better response might you try next time?” “You can do the right thing. I believe in you.”

10) Affirm and release.
“Okay, let’s try again, I think you can make a better choice next time.”

Remember, offended kids generally have three choices: Ignore, Confront, or Get Help. Kids need skills that will help them with all three. You’re the coach providing solutions not just rebukes.

If you’d like to comment on this tip, or pass it on to a friend, visit our blog to see it there.

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Homefront Magazine – Easter Ideas to Inspire Your Family

           

It isn’t too late to be inspired to make this your most intentional Easter yet with your kids! To journey beyond the traditional Easter Egg Hunt, explore the family friendly ideas in this digital magazine, HomeFront.

Here is just a snippet of what the magazine contents hold: a Resurrection Garden!

Everyone will enjoy making and consuming Resurrection Rolls, these sugary treats are packed with an Easter message children of all ages can appreciate. Check out the recipe.

If you are in the Cambridge area, Forward Church would love to greet you this Easter weekend.

Two Good Friday services at 9am or 11am (child care is available for birth to SK children)

One Easter Sunday morning service at 10:30am, full child care for birth-gr.5 available.

Enjoy blessing your family this week with a fresh look at the Easter celebration,

Kathy.

 

Anticipating Easter – Queasy about how much to share with your young child?

 

I can picture myself so clearly – it is Good Friday and I’m sitting in the “teacher’s” chair surrounded by preschoolers clutching my bag of Easter props. I pull out the stem of thorns (saved from my Valentine’s roses) and open my mouth to share the gory details.  Am I really saying these gruesome things to such little ones?….

“There are many themes within the Easter story that may leave parents uneasy about addressing them with young children. While this season represents the ultimate expression of love and sacrifice, Christ’s resurrection didn’t occur without betrayal, denial, torture, pain and death.

If you’re feeling anxious or uncertain about what to say to your children, consider these tips as you talk to them about Easter in the coming weeks: Focus on the Family Canada.”

• Celebrating Easter as a family

• Easter with your tween-aged kids

• Easter is for teens, too!

• Three fun object lessons that help explain Easter to kids

Bible Memory with your Kids – Remembering Why it’s Worth the Effort.

If you’ve ever tried memorizing the Bible you know first hand that it isn’t a job for the faint-hearted.  Sure, some of us can regurgitate content pretty accurately in short order, but retaining that content over the long haul is another matter entirely. That requires resolve, determination, intentionality, technique…  Perhaps the place to start is with the WHY – given all the demands on our time, why bother in the first place?

Chuck Swindoll wrote, “I know of no other single practice in the Christian life more rewarding, practically speaking, than memorizing Scripture. . . . No other single exercise pays greater spiritual dividends! Your prayer life will be strengthened. Your witnessing will be sharper and much more effective. Your attitudes and outlook will begin to change. Your mind will become alert and observant. Your confidence and assurance will be enhanced. Your faith will be solidified” (Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life[Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1994], p. 61).

In a nutshell, here are some terrific, life changing benefits that come with hiding God’s Word in your heart: (100 Bible Verses Everyone Should Know by Heart by Robert J. Morgan, B&H Publishing Group, TN, 2010, p. 26.)

1. Clearer thoughts.
2. Steadier nerves.
3. Healthier emotions.
4. Purer habits.
5. Happier homes.
6. Greater respect.
7. Eternal optimism. 
   

Explore these websites for inspiration on making the process of  Bible memory fun and engaging for the whole family:

• http://www.sundayschoolresources.com/memoryverse.htm
• http://www.daniellesplace.com/html/BibleVerseReview.html
• http://www.ehow.com/info_7863302_bible-verse-memorization-games.html
• http://www.eliab.com/Puppets/Ways_to_use_a_puppet/_Puppets_help_teach_a_memory_v/_puppets_help_teach_a_memory_v.html
• http://www.hubbardscupboard.org/bible_memorization.html#introduction
• http://christianity.about.com/od/parentingresources/qt/memorizebible.htm

HOW to memorize the Bible: check out:

• http://www.biblegateway.com/blog/2013/03/ten-tips-for-memorizing-bible-verses/
• http://pastormark.tv/2012/12/31/32-ways-to-memorize-scripture
• https://www.navigators.org/Tools/Discipleship%20Resources/Tools/Topical%20Memory%20System

So, let’s get at it!                                                                                                           Yours in the trenches,                                                                                                                  Kathy.

Who Was Saint Patrick?

            

My own grandfather immigrated from Ireland to nearby Ancaster in the 1880’s so I’ve a vested interest in the question, Who IS Saint Patrick anyway?  I’ve come to discover there is certainly much more depth to this historical legend than our Canadian celebrations suggest.

To be honest, Saint Patrick is exactly the kind of hero you want your kids to emulate;

• as a teenager, Patrick allowed terrible circumstances (more on that later) to mold and mature a deep and enduring love for Christ.
• against all odds he showed compassion for his Irish tormentors and understood that, rather than fleeing from them when the opportunity arose, God desired him to spend his life reaching out to them.
• he studied hard and prepared himself well for the task ahead, willingly allowing God to use him for Kingdom work
• indeed, young Patrick qualifies as the poster child for any Anti-Bullying campaign!

Read on for the details of this amazing man’s life story as found here.                                  “Dia dhuit”, God be with you,    Kathy.

It is known that St. Patrick was born in Britain to wealthy parents near the end of the fourth century. At the age of 16, Patrick was taken prisoner by a group of Irish raiders who were attacking his family’s estate. They transported him to Ireland where he spent six years in captivity. During this time, he worked as a shepherd, outdoors and away from people. Lonely and afraid, he turned to his religion for solace, becoming a devout Christian. (It is also believed that Patrick first began to dream of converting the Irish people to Christianity during his captivity.) 

After more than six years as a prisoner, Patrick escaped. According to his writing, a voice—which he believed to be God’s—spoke to him in a dream, telling him it was time to leave Ireland. To do so, Patrick walked nearly 200 miles from County Mayo, where it is believed he was held, to the Irish coast. After escaping to Britain, Patrick reported that he experienced a second revelation—an angel in a dream tells him to return to Ireland as a missionary. Soon after, Patrick began religious training, a course of study that lasted more than 15 years. After his ordination as a priest, he was sent to Ireland with a dual mission: to minister to Christians already living in Ireland and to begin to convert the Irish. (Interestingly, this mission contradicts the widely held notion that Patrick introduced Christianity to Ireland.)

Saint Patrick’s life was spent loving the Irish and contextualizing the gospel message. March 17th is widely held to be the date of his death.

The Delicate Balance: Being Firm but Not Harsh

Be Firm Without Being Harsh             

Some parents believe that the only way to be firm is to be harsh. Firmness says that a boundary is secure and won’t be crossed without a consequence. Harshness uses angry words and increased volume to make children believe that parents mean what they say. Some parents have assumed that firmness and harshness must go together. One mom said, “The thought of separating the two is like listening to a foreign language—it sounds nice but doesn’t make any sense.”
   How do you make the change?                                                           Two things will help you remove harshness from your interaction with your children: Dialogue less and show less emotion.

In an attempt to build relationship, some parents spend too much time dialoguing about instructions. They try to defend their words, persuade their children to do what they’re told, or logically explain the value of obeying. This is often counterproductive. Parents then resort to anger to end the discussion, complicating matters further.

“But,” one mom said, “I thought talking and showing emotion are signs of a healthy family, leading to closeness in family life.” And that is true when they are used in the right way. Unfortunately, when added to the instruction process, these two ingredients confuse children and don’t give them the clear boundaries they need. These are two good things, just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Firmness requires action, not anger. Having a toolbox of consequences is important to help move children along in life. It’s not optional. Some parents use anger as their consequence. These parents need more tools that will help their children make lasting changes.

If you find yourself being harsh, take time to reevaluate your response. More action, less yelling can go a long way to bring about significant change.

This parenting tip is from the book, Say Goodbye the Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

If this tip was sent to you by a friend and you’d like to continue to receive tips yourself, you can sign up at www.biblicalparenting.org.

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Intentionally Celebrating Lent as a Family

I grew up in an Anglican/United Church household with a healthy respect for the season of Lent.  As a young girl it seemed to me like a long time to give up chocolate! Even with my skewed and limited perspective I remember coming away with a greater sense of the sacrifice of Christ having experienced Lent, failures and all, with my family.

Have you ever stopped to consider the meaning of Lent and how it could enrich your family’s appreciation of Easter? About.com describes Lent as follows:  “the Christian season of preparation before Easter. In Western Christianity, Ash Wednesday marks the first day, or the start of the season of Lent, which begins 40 days prior to Easter (Sundays are not included in the count).  Lent is a time when many Christians prepare for Easter by observing a period of fasting, repentance, moderation and spiritual discipline. The purpose is to set aside time for reflection on Jesus Christ – his suffering and his sacrifice, his life, death, burial and resurrection.”

Please read through the following ideas on                                                                    ~Intentionally Celebrating Lent as a Family~                                                                   written by Lindsay Edmunds from the website “Passionate Homemaking: Loving simple, natural and intentional living.”

 

“I have been convicted lately considering how much thought and intentionality I love to put into preparing our hearts for the birth of Christ during the Advent season and then how little thought I take to preparing for the ultimate accumulation of Christ’s life in his death and resurrection that is the focus of our Easter celebrations. It usually just comes upon me with little to no thought or preparation. In light of this, I felt like this was the year to begin cultivating more intentionality in celebrating this glorious occasion which is the foundation for our faith. I am beginning early by preparing a list of activities that our family could complete during the lent season of preparation. There are 40 days of Lent, which starts on Wednesday, March 5 this year. I have decided to compile these activities on cards that could be completed throughout this 40 day period. These activities are primarily for young children but could be adapted as necessary. Pick and chose any of these ideas for your own use as desired. I hope to do 2-3 of them each week during Lent.”

About Lindsay: Lindsay Edmonds is first a lover of Jesus, wife, mother of three, homemaker, and writer. She is the editor of Passionate Homemaking since its beginning five years ago. She loves inspiring women around the world toward simple, natural, and intentional living for the glory of God.

Family Friendly Lent Activities:

1. Make a JesusTree: During the Advent season, we like to make a Jesse tree with symbols representing stories throughout the Old Testament that led up to the birth of Christ Jesus. For Easter/Lent celebration, why not make a Jesus Tree with images or symbols from the life and death of Christ. Find ideas to make your own Jesus tree here or buy a complete kit here.

2. Start a Garden indoors to help your children understand the death and rebirth of Christ. Plant little lettuce seeds or whatever seeds you desire. Explain how the planting symbolizes the death of Jesus and how the sprouting seed symbolizes His rebirth. When Easter arrives, transplant your seedlings to your yard.

3. Make Pretzels pretzels: Pretzels were a common fasting food among early Christians, and they were traditionally made of flour, water and salt. The shape of the simple food signifies the arms crossed in prayer. Share your pretzels with a neighbor or family you are seeking to reach out to.

4. Make Hot Cross Buns http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Easter-Buttermilk-Hot-Cross-Buns/Detail.aspx: Hot cross buns are also traditional Lenten bread. Make some with your children while explaining how they are important in the celebration of Lent. The buns may have originated in the 12th century, and the frosting is applied as a cross. Younger children can make simple, bread-shaped crosses to give to grandparents, friends and other family members.

5. Make Easter Story Cookies.

6. Make a Salt Dough Crown of Thorns. An alternative idea: make a crown out of playdough and toothpicks.

7. Make a “Stained Glass” Cross.

8. Encourage a Heart for World Prayer: Lent is a season of focused preparation and a great opportunity to focus on praying for the world around us. Traditionally, the first Friday in Lent is celebrated as a World Day of Prayer. Choose a continent to focus praying for during each week leading up to Easter.

9. Take a Nature Scavenger Hunt and collect items that remind you of the life of Jesus. Two sticks could be used to form a cross, a stone could represent the stone across the tomb, a thorn could represent the crown on Jesus’ head, an acorn shell to represent the cup at the Last Supper, long branch to represent a whip, something black (for sin), something red (blood), something white (a clean heart), something green (growing in Christ). Older children can go on a digital scavenger hunt, taking photographs of items that remind them of Easter.

10. Have a Foot Washing for your family: Fill a bucket with water. Grab a few towels, and discuss how Jesus washed the feet of His disciples and commanded them to love one another (John 13:34-35). Pray for one another.

11. Read an Easter related book. (See recommendations below)

12. Paint your Doorpost for Passover: Allow your kids to paint red paint on the (paper covered) doorpost to a particular room or the front door of your home to represent the Passover. Read Exodus 12:1-42. Explain Christ’s death as the ultimate sacrifice for sin and discuss the significance of God giving up His firstborn son.

13. Help your child understand that Jesus was called “the Lamb of God” (John 1:29; 1 Cor. 5:7-8). Make a lamb craft project with your kids by gluing cotton balls to a paper plate and then add pink and black construction paper eyes, ears, muzzle, nose and hooves.

14. Discuss as a family something that you could give up and give to another or use the money saved on that regular purchase to give to a charity ministry.

15. Listen to Handel’s Messiah.

16. Make a “He Is Risen” or “Our Redeemer Lives” poster and hang in a prominent place in your home on Easter morning.

17. Bake something for a shut-in or needy family.

18. Make palm leaf crosses.

19. Act out the “Parade of Palm Sunday” as a family: Take turns being the donkey, Jesus, and the part of the crowd. Discuss that “Hosanna” means “Save us, we beseech thee.” Read John 12:12-13. Make palm branches out of green construction paper and decorate the dinner table with your creations.

20. Dye Easter eggs and discuss the new life that has been a symbol of spring since ancient times. Discuss the “new life” that we experience in Christ.

21. Make a Sand Craft: Sand is a Lent symbol of how God led the Israelites in their journey in the desert and how Jesus faced temptations for 40 days in the dessert.

22. Collect purple things from around your home: Discuss how purple is the color of Lent. Purple symbolizes the pain and suffering leading up to the crucifixion of Jesus. It is also the color of royalty and symbolizes the kingship of Jesus in our lives. Wear something purple for the day.

23. Make a Jesus is Risen Tomb Craft. Discuss the significance of Christ’s resurrection.

24. Watch The Passion or Animated Passion as appropriate for your family.

25. Get buried in grave clothes: Read Matthew 27:57-61. Wrap up one of your children in toilet paper, or “grave clothes”. Allow the child to break free from the toilet paper and talk about how sad the disciples must have felt and how happy they must have been when they saw that Jesus had conquered death.

26. Find your own grave clothes: Go to a park, search for an oversized boulder and try to move it. Read Matthew 27:62-66; 28:1-4. Discuss how a large stone couldn’t keep Jesus in the tomb and how surprised the soldiers must have been when it was rolled away.

 Sources: ChristianLentActivitiesforChildren

Great Books/Resources for Easter:

TheAnimatedPassionFilm
ThePassionFilm
TheGospelofJohnfilm   (our favourite adaptation of the life of Christ).                              From Trail to the Tree: A Family Devotional for Lent from Ann Voskamp (with printables for your own Easter/Jesus tree)                                                                                                      Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter – deep thoughtful articles from many classic authors (C.S. Lewis, Bonhoeffer, Chesterton, etc.); a great choice for a couple to read together or for families with older children.                                                                                   Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross by Nancy Guthrie – another wonderful compilation of short articles by various authors that will help draw your heart to the Cross during this season.  A Season of Lent – devotional guide for the seven weeks leading up to Easter with a focused thing to fast from each week                                                                             TheVeryFirstEaster                                                                                                        TheTaleofThreeTrees : a fun children’s story.                                                                       Benjamin’sBox : Best used with the Resurrection Eggs kit.                               TheLegendoftheEasterEgg  : a fun children’s story.                                                           Resurrection Eggs – we have used these cute visual and select Scripture passages for meaningful discussion on Easter. Hide them and have kids find them and open one by one as you retell the story.                                                                                                                  Felt Easter Banner – check our the Heart Felt Truths etsy shop for this fun homemade Easter banner that provides you with meaningful visuals for Holy Week with felt icons and Scriptures passages for discussion. Very cute! Make your own instructions here.

(Some of the resources recommended here are affiliate links. We always seek to recommend products that we have used and love! If you purchase through our affiliates, you are helping to support our orphan home in India. Thanks!)

View all posts by Lindsay →

“Create a Rhythm” – Some Kind of Cool, New Game?

What does that mean? Create a Rhythm. Is it a cool new game for the Xbox? Is it the latest dance craze?

Basically, it means to make a point of incorporating spiritual learning and faith development into your child’s everyday life. Easy, right?!

You’re thinking, “NO, it’s not easy at all!” Be encouraged – for preschoolers it really is.

You’re talking to your preschooler constantly. Teaching them constantly. Now, you just need to be intentional about what you’re talking about and what you’re teaching.

• When you’re playing blocks, stack them while saying “God loves you.” 
• While you’re in the tub and washing little toes say, “I’m so glad God made your little toes.”
• As you drive along the road point out the trees, flowers and animals that God created.
• Transform your child’s favourite action figure into the main character of last Sunday’s Bible story.

Your child doesn’t need a Bible lesson every minute of the day, but they sure can hear about God’s love for them several times throughout the day. 

Engaging YOU, Mom or Dad, is the best way to teach your child to have faith in Jesus.

Does this statement make you nervous? 

Join us for this weekend’s Faith at Home Workshop for parents of 2 & 3 year old children and discover how to use everyday moments like Play Time, Bath Time, Cuddle Time and Drive Time to create a rhythm each week that builds your young child’s relationship with Jesus.

• Sunday, March 2, 2014 
• 10:30 am – 12:00 pm
• Youth Auditorium at Forward Church, South Cambridge.

Deuteronomy 6 tells us as parents to talk about our relationship with God as we do simple, routine activities with our child. This Create A Rhythm event illustrates that no extra time is needed in order to create a rhythm in your home to shape your child’s faith.  If you are a parent of a 2 or 3 year old, come check it out this Sunday!

Event content and above descriptions courtesy of: Create A Rhythm event by Orange.